"Ripe for the picking, hirsute and proud. Simon had always looked for an excuse to be auctioned off. It made him warm in his loins. The way the crowd gawked at his neatly parted chest hair made him feel momentarily as if he were the king of Siam instead of a cast-off from the dregs of Tulsa's meth addled youth population. "Bright days on the horizon", he chirped to his colleagues" - from Bill Russell's book Three Uppity Swashbuckling Swindlers Causing a Ruckus on Mt. St. Helens and Other Adventures of Impetus (1792)